Help
by moonlightfall
Summary: I'm bad at summaries, so please git it a try. First it's a dark fic but it gets lighter. It deals with Regina being secretly in love with Emma who is in danger because her only kidney isn't working anymore. Regina anonymous donates a kidney and afterwards gets into a fight with Emma. People start to bully Regina afterwards and even Henry is betraying her. Warnings inside.


**Sorry for the bad writing. It's something I wrote at 2am and just needed to publish it and IDK. **

**Warnings: attempted suicides, self-harm, alcohol overuse.**

Regina didn't even knew how they came into this situation. She just knew that Emma laid in the hospital and she herself was being prepared for a kidney transplantation. A kidney she would donate Emma who didn't had even a clue about it. The doctors didn't knew why Emma's kidney hadn't worked anymore. They just knew that she had the one kidney. Regina laid on the hospital bed and tried to relax as much as possible while the nurses prepared her anesthetization.

After the donation was accomplished Regina got released after a night in the hospital and painkillers. She anonymously had donated the kidney. Why? Because she loved Emma and couldn't lose her. Even if Emma wouldn't know. She was happy that she had saved the blonde woman who gave birth to the most important thing in her life.

It was a week after the transplantation when Emma got released. She wanted to celebrate the fact that she had survived it and directly went out with Ruby, Mary-Margret and Ashley. What she hadn't known was that Regina also was there. Regina looked up and saw Emma drinking some whiskey. She got furious. Why the hell was Emma bringing her kidney in danger once again after she almost died on it? She got up and walked over to her. "What the hell do you think are you doing?",Regina snapped at her and Emma groaned.

"What does it look like? I'm going out with friends.",Emma answered. "After what happened to your kidney?",Regina growled and Emma sighed. "Well… as far as I know is that this kidney is in perfect health and it won't damage it when I'm going drinking for one night.",Emma answered. "Maybe you should do it like the first owner of this kidney and don't drink.",Regina hissed. "I don't think that the owner donated this kidney so that you could destroy it again." "Well the owner didn't had to donate it then.",Emma snapped and Regina slapped her.

Everyone gasped. Emma pushed Regina a step. "Why is it even your concern? You just care about yourself! Why are you so angry that I'm drinking? Concerned that I'll be out for too long and you have no slave anymore?",Emma screamed and ignored the hurt look in Regina's eyes which went unnoticed by everyone but Ashley who knew about the donation next to Granny. "Emma…",Ashley warned her. "No! I'm tired of her commanding me around! It's MY kidney now and when I think that I CAN drink than I WILL drink! Just fuck off!" Regina just shook her head.

"Be happy that someone donated it. Although now I wish this person hadn't done it.",she snapped back and left the bar. Everyone was rather shocked at the last words. Ashley sighed and shook her head. "This bitch…",Ruby hissed and heard agreement from the others. Sydney had wrote everything down what he had heard and went back to the newspaper station to write an article about it. Emma growled and sat down again but the appetite for alcohol was gone.

Regina knew that she had overdone it. She knew that now everyone definitely would hate her. Why did she even had said it? She would donate her other kidney if it would mean that Emma survive. She walked home. Tears streaming down her cheeks. Why was she this stupid? Why making everything worse? She entered her home and directly walked to the bed.

The next morning Regina entered the diner with her head down. She couldn't look in the people's faces. She went to the counter where Granny stood and looked to her. "Way to go, Madame Mayor.",she said quietly and Regina looked up slightly. Granny saw the hurt and sadness in Regina's brown eyes. "Usual?" Regina just nodded and noticed the newspaper next to her. She saw a picture of herself on the first page and then read the title. _**Is our mayor really that kind of bitch? **_ She swallowed the lump in her throat and started to read a part of the article. Her fatal words were quoted and some bad comments from Sydney and other citizens were in it.

She looked down defeated. She just wanted Emma to stop bringing herself in danger. Sure she had overreacted but she just didn't wanted to see Emma in the hospital again. But now. Now no one would believe her anymore. She looked out and saw Henry reading his own exemplar of the newspaper. His hateful look. She looked back at her hands until Granny placed her things in front of her. She gave Granny 50 Dollars before she took her things and left the diner again. While she walked out she heard a insult from Leroy towards her and she suppressed her cries. Why had she been such a fool?

Outside she still looked down on the ground when she bumped into someone. She lost her balance and sat on the ground suddenly. Irritated Regina looked up into David's face. He just looked disappointed and walked away. She gathered her things and quickly stood up again before she hurried in her office and locked the door. She threw her food in the trash can and then curled up on the couch. Her sobs filled the room.

When Regina looked at the clock she saw that it was already 5pm. She stood up again. Fixed her appearance and walked back home without having accomplished even one thing. While she was walking home she heard the people whisper. _"Such a bitch." "The sheriff is right. The mayor is just thinking of herself." "The sheriff and the mayor should have switched places. It's cruel that Emma has to suffer double now." _Regina couldn't stop her tears anymore when she was at her drive way. She hurried into the building.

Henry was in the living room watching cartoons when Regina entered the house. He ignored her when she asked him to turn off the TV. "Henry! Turn off the TV now or there will be consequences!",she said. "And you will do the same thing like you did to Emma? I bet you were fault that her kidney didn't worked anymore. Or where were you last week when Emma needed a donation?",he accused her and she looked hurt.

"That's impossible!",she answered. "No, you probably tried to kill her with poison but she survived." "And why the hell would I be angry at her then when she tries to drink alcohol? If I really would want her dead than I would encourage her to drink more and more but I didn't! I was angry that she was damaging her new kidney directly after her stay at the hospital!",she screamed at him.

She just shook her head and quickly left the living room and ran upstairs. She locked her door and grabbed her phone to call Ashley who answered after a few rings. "Hey… Regina…",Ashley said hesitantly. "I… I can't do this anymore, Ashley.",Regina said and got interrupted. "I can't talk right now.",Ashley said and Regina heard voices in the background. _"Is that Regina?"_,Ruby asked. _"She dares to call you?"_,another female voice was to be heard. Regina felt how something in her died. Like all the hope was sucked out of her. "I…I… sorry. Good bye.",she just said and hung up.

She hadn't have anyone. No one who she could talk to. No one who would believe her than Dr. Whale and the nurses who where there when she donated her kidney. And with these people she didn't wanted to talk. She curled up to a ball once again and sobbed silently. She screamed in her pillow. "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DESTROY MY LIFE?" Henry had heard it and made fists. How dare she could accuse Emma of destroying her life when it was clearly the opposite. Emma wasn't happy anymore since Regina had told her that she had wished that she was made a plan. He would finally be free of his mother and could escape with Emma.

The next day he arrived fake crying at Emma's door and told her a story about Regina slapping him when he dared to speak against her. Emma was shocked. "We need evidence to proof that.",she said and Henry nodded. "But how? Can't you just publish it? No one would want her to letting her take care of me anymore.",he answered and Emma nodded. What they hadn't seen was that Mary-Margret had listened to them and now walked to the diner to tell Ruby.

Regina was there too to get food when she arrived. "How dare you to beat Henry?",MM shouted at Regina grabbed her and pushed her on the ground. "How can you even think that I would lay a hand on my son?",Regina shouted back and stood up. She was furious. "Well, he told Emma not long ago.",MM answered and Regina gasped. How could her own son do that? "Leave.",Ruby growled and Regina ran. She just ran.

She felt betrayed and hurt. Since she had donated this kidney just bad had happened to her. The only thing she had wanted to do was helping Emma. To save Emma like a good person would do. And now? Now everyone looked at her as a child beater. She walked into the kitchen and took a knife and an apple. She started to cut the apple into pieces when she cut herself. She hissed slightly until she felt how the pain was helping her. In awe she looked down at her injured finger and then at the knife.

She took it more firmly in her hand and rolled up her sleeve. When she cut herself the first time she cursed herself for this stupidity but once again she felt the relief. She cut herself a few more times until she was satisfied and put knife away and cleaned up the counter and her arm. Afterwards she walked upstairs in her room and sat down on the windowsill. When she looked outside she saw people often looking to the house with disgust and hate. She spotted Henry and Emma walking to the house and she quickly walked away from the window.

Surely Henry would pack his things now and live with Emma so she just laid down on her bed. Her back facing the door and hoped that they would be at least quiet. She heard them enter and pressed her eyes shut. Hoping that someone would take her away. She heard a soft knock on the door but ignored it. Emma entered the room and closed the door behind her. "Why?",she just asked. "I didn't do anything. Even if you don't want to believe me.",Regina answered and opened her eyes. "I would never raise my hand against Henry." "And why would he say such a thing?",Emma asked. "I wish I would know why my own son is stabbing me in the back…",Regina just answered and Emma sighed.

She saw how this accusation had hurt her. How Regina suffered under something she obviously hadn't done because whenever Emma wanted to see the marks Henry would pull away. But how knew Regina that Henry had told her that. "How do you know about it?",she asked her. "Well… your roommate wasn't really discreet when she yelled at me in the diner in front of everyone…",Regina answered and Emma's eyes widened. Then the whole town would know about this by the end of the day.

She left Regina alone and walked to Henry. "She says she didn't do it. Could you please show me the marks?",Emma said and Henry shook his head. "Did you lie?",Emma asked him and looked deep into Henry's eyes. "No.",he lied. "Why the hell would you put your mother through this?",she asked disbelieving and Henry looked down ashamed. "Because she is evil!",he said. Emma ran her hands through her hair. "Do you know what kind of damage you caused?",she asked him saddened.

He looked at her confused. "How? I just told you." "And Mary-Margret overheard it and yelled at your mother in the diner in front of everyone…",she said and Henry gasped. "Your mother… she did nothing to you… she may have said bad things to me but she wasn't wrong. I shouldn't drink right after a kidney donation…" Henry looked away. "I just wanted to get away from here.",he said. "By harming your mother?",she asked and he sighed. "I thought that you would use it to get me away from her… that your chances would be higher.",he answered.

Emma was sad about it. Regina was all alone since the night in the bar. Ashley had turned away from her to not lose her other friends. Henry seemed to dislike her pretty much and everyone else hated her. She heard Regina getting up and shuffling in her room before there were steps in the floor. Regina appeared at the door. Her eyes showing her true feeling. Sadness. "I…I'm going out for a while. Why don't you… don't you pack your things for a sleepover?",Regina said and Henry nodded confused.

Regina left the room and quickly walked downstairs where she started to write a letter. A goodbye letter. Telling how sorry she was and that she really loved him but she couldn't live with this. Live with being hated from everyone when she just had tried to knock sense into Emma's mind. She placed it onto the desk with a description where she would be and than walked back to Henry's room. "Bye… I love you, Henry.",she said quietly and then just left without another word.

Emma was confused but didn't say anything. Henry had finished packing after 10 minutes and they walked down. Emma saw that the light in the study still was on and walked over to ask Regina where she was heading. She entered the empty study and directly spotted the letter. She quickly hurried to the desk and took it. She read it and gasped. She called Ruby to look after Henry and quickly got in her car to drive where Regina was heading.

Regina had driven to a lake. She looked sadly over it before she slowly started to walk into it. Never again would she need to feel pain. Never again anyone could use her. She walked and walked until she lost the footing and she dove under the water. She fought against her survival instinct and soon lost consciousness. Emma arrived not much later. She just saw Regina's unconscious body floating on the lake. Emma called the ambulance before she dove into the water after Regina and quickly brought her out of the water.

She checked Regina's pulse but found none and gasped once again. "Come on, Regina. You aren't the type of giving up.",Emma said and started to revive her. She finally got a heartbeat and Regina spit out the water but remained unconscious. The ambulance soon arrived and brought her to the hospital where she woke up two days after the incident.

Emma sat next to her on the chair and looked at her saddened. "Why, Regina?" Regina just looked away. Archie and Dr. Whale soon entered the room too. "Miss Mills?",Archie asked softly. Regina still looked away. "It was an attempted suicide.",Regina just mumbled. The three other just looked at each other. "Why?" "Why not?",she asked back. She looked back to them. "But it isn't from use anymore, now is it? Ending my life is as silly as living…" Archie sighed relieved. "I will give you some anti-depressants and you will have to visit me every week twice until I think that you are okay.",Archie said after a pause and Regina just nodded lazily. She surely hadn't give up yet.

After a few days she was released. They looked if she would still try to kill herself before they gave their consent that she wouldn't try anything again. Regina left the hospital alone. Head down and shutting out everyone. She still felt depressed but she also had a new plan how to die without anyone interfering. While Regina walked home she passed a pharmacy which she entered. "I would like to buy some sleep pills.",she said and the man raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Obviously he hadn't heard about her suicide attempt. She paid the man and then walked home with the deadly bottle in her bag.

She entered her home and walked to the living room where her cider was standing. But when she entered the room she saw Emma and Henry sitting there. Regina stopped and wanted to turn again but was stopped by two arms which wrapped themselves around her waist. She looked down at Henry and hesitantly wrapped her arms around him too. But instead of feeling happy she didn't feel anything at all. "I'm sorry, Mom…",he said. "I know.",she just answered. She stepped away from him.

The feeling of betrayal still too fresh. "I…I'm going to take a nap.",she said and walked upstairs. Henry just looked after her. Emma walked to him and watched Regina disappearing. "She… she didn't even smile…",he said and Emma sighed. "Sometimes… it hurts to much…",she answered and Henry hugged her. "I never wanted that to happen.",he said and Emma nodded. "I know…I know.",she answered sadly.

Emma tucked Henry in and then went to Regina's room. She saw the older woman sitting on the windowsill. She looked outside and sighed. "Do you think they ever will forgive me for any of these things?",Regina asked her and looked to her. Emma closed the door and sat down on the bed. "I don't know… Regina… I… I'm sorry. I never meant anything of that to happen." "Me neither. But it did… that's the reason why I'm evil… because then at least… then nothing bad happens to me."

"When did you something good?",Emma asked bluntly. Regina sighed. She stood up and lifted her shirt. Emma saw the operation scar. "You… you donated the kidney…" "Yes… and you know what? Since I donated my kidney I just got slapped in the face… By you. By Henry. By the town… I do one good thing and ear thousands of bad… I don't want that anymore…",Regina answered and sat down again. "That's why you snapped at me…" "I snapped at you because I… I didn't wanted to see you in hospital again…" Emma was confused.

"Why do you care?" "Because I… I… I just care about you…",Regina answered and looked out. Emma gasped. "When Whale said that you need a donor and that directly I offered myself without second thoughts.",Regina said and Emma smiled. "You did?",she asked her and Regina looked to her. "Yes." They locked eyes and Emma patted the bed next to her. Regina walked over and sat down next to her. "Thank you.",Emma said and took her hand.

Regina just nodded. "I owe you. Really.",Emma said. "You saved my life too. I think we are even.",she answered and Emma looked in her face. "And I'm sorry about Henry… I… I will talk to the town… I promise.",Emma said and Regina chuckled. "They have an opinion of me now. That won't change just because you tell them it was all a lie… they probably think that I'm blackmailing you." "No. You will see."

Regina shut herself out from everything what happened outside of her house. She tried to stay away from Henry and mostly stayed in her room or in the kitchen. Henry watched her saddened. She would always pull away and leave him alone when he tried to get near to her once again. Her eyes showed a deep sadness and he knew that he was fault.

"Mom?",Henry asked when he entered her room. She once again sat on the windowsill and looked out. Regina turned her head to him. "Yes, Henry?" "You've been here since 4 hours now. Why don't you come down?",he asked her. "I… I just don't feel like going down, Henry.",she said softly and looked back out. "Stop… stop avoiding me…",he snapped. "Why? You started.",she answered. She knew that she was mean and childish but she was hurt. So deeply hurt that sadly Henry was the person she lashed out on.

He looked down. "I know… and… and I'm sorry… but.. but I'm sorry, Mom… I… I was just…" "Hurt? You felt betrayed? Left alone?",she asked and he nodded. "Well… that are feelings I know since my birth, Henry…" "I… I'm really sorry, Mom." She laughed humorlessly. "Yes… you are… but that isn't enough anymore, Henry… you destroyed my life…",she said and looked at him. Her lifeless eyes locked with his scared ones. She stood up and revealed a bottle Jack Daniels. He looked shocked at her.

"What's that, Mom?",he asked her scared. "Nothing for you.",she said and swayed. She walked over to the bed drawer and showed him the bottle of sleeping pills. "That, my dear, is serious.",she said and opened it. She threw her head back and took half of the pills in her mouth. She swallowed them and felt how her knees got weak. "Mom?",Henry asked her more scared. He rushed to her side and she giggled lazily. "Now no one can ever destroy my life again.",she mumbled. "No… stop! I love you! Don't leave me!" "I LOVED YOU TOO! But you left ME! YOU DIDN'T CARED WHAT I WOULD FEEL!",she screamed at him. He just hugged her and sobbed.

"I love you, Mom. Please… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll try to be better.",he whispered and Regina started crying too. "I love you too…",she whispered and held him. "I'll call the ambulance.",he said and she shook her head. "No…",she snapped but he shrugged out of her embrace and ran to the phone. Regina tried to stop him but fell back on the ground when everything started spin around her.

She heard how he called the ambulance. Regina watched Henry. "I love you.",she whispered and he came back to her. "When you are okay again, than we will go to Archie and then everything will be good again.",he said and pulled her in his arms. She sighed contently. "Just hold me.",she whispered and snuggled closer to him. Her eyes slipping closed.

The next time she woke up in the hospital once again. She hadn't opened her eyes for even a second before she felt the slap on her cheek. She hissed and looked to the person who had slapped her. "You are an idiot!",Emma snapped at her. Regina tried to turn away but Emma kept her on her back and straddled her. "Why did you do that? Why in front of your son?",Emma shook her. "Because I was drunk.",Regina answered ashamed. "I just wanted to be loved."

Emma cupped her cheeks. "You idiot…",Emma said before she crashed their lips together. Regina's heart almost leaped out of her chest from happiness. She kissed her back hungrily and pulled her closer. "You… you aren't kidding?",Regina asked afterwards and Emma shook her head. "I love you, Regina… or why do you think I tried to clear your name? In which I succeeded by the way." "You… you did?" "Yes… after I told Ruby it spread rather quickly… most people are sorry for what they have done…",Emma answered and Regina smiled slightly.

"Where is Henry?" "Outside. I wanted to talk to you first.",Emma said. Regina nodded. "I think I have to talk with him." "Definitely." Emma left to give mother and son some alone time. They spoke about everything what had happened. Both apologized for what they had done and both made peace. Regina accepted that she would go to therapy with Henry.

Regina and Emma became a couple. After these incidents Regina never fell back to those habits. Not with Emma and Henry around her. She felt happy and even after the curse had broken they both stayed with her. And after months the people were once again civil to Regina. She knew that it would take a long time for them to trust and forgive her but she was okay with that. As long as Henry and Emma would stay with her.

**End or TBC?**


End file.
